Are you a hummingbird?
Al and I are celebrating 22 years of us this month.
22 years since we began our great adventures together and 22 years since we started working together.
We collided at a party one sunny August afternoon in Essex. Two entirely different backgrounds but with a shared love of metalwork and all things creative. We couldn’t stop talking …
We haven’t stopped talking since ..
In his previous incarnation Al was a precision panel beater .. working on high end prestige cars. I was completely fascinated as he recounted stories of damaged, warped and twisted cars and the incredible methods used to pull them straight .. the minuscule allowances that enabled a door to fit back into its frame with that reassuringly expensive click. Or the way Al’s ear was attuned to the slightest difference in the sound of a boot closing .. exposing its imperfection and allowing him to make yet another tiny adjustment until it was as good as new.
Or the way Al would find out details of the accident that caused the damage so that he could work backwards and understand the impact and force that caused the metal to crumple to then be able to apply the opposite motion and correct it.
I was mesmerised by the story of one of Al’s mentors who restored a Rolls Royce from scratch. I had never realised that a Rolls Royce was hand build … but even when I was told, I didn’t imagine for a moment that Al actually meant the guy began with a sheet of metal and used stakes, dollies and hammers to form the completely symmetrical panels of this expensive car in exactly the same way as we form sheets of silver and gold into jewellery.
So Al’s journey to jewellery, although not conventional was a natural shift. From one highly skilled, precise career working to the highest standards to another … just not on cars!
Al’s skill set brought a whole other way of working to my, more conventional art school / jewellery school background.
I am one of those fortunate people who have lived my whole life with the complete undeniable knowledge of my passion.
For as long as I can remember I have been drawing, making, inventing and creating worlds from the dark corners of my imagination. It was just assumed that I would go to art school and I remember from a very young age deciding that I would make my living from my art….. a determination that was only fuelled by the constant repetition from adults that this really wasn’t possible ..
I always assumed Al’s passion was cars .. and motorbikes …anything with an engine. My Essex boy petrol head!
But, as the years have gone by it’s become completely apparent that it’s not the cars that (excuse the pun) drive Al..
..it’s EVERYTHING!
It’s beauty in design, taking something and making it beautiful.. and perfect, so that it looks amazing but if it has a job to do, he will see to it that it will do it perfectly.
It’s colour. Colour in design, interiors, fashion .. and cars. You only have to glance back at some of the beautiful cars that Al built, which were often featured in magazines, (including a bright pink VW Beetle!) to see this theme running through his work .
People … he loves psychology…and philosophy …. alternative health … travel…. Fashion… make up …photography..music..
See what I mean ?
Al gets so passionate about things he is often brought to tears ..
So, in a way.., compared to me, Al’s ‘passion’ is kind of abstract. It’s less easy to pin down to A THING. He is quite literally interested in everything ..
Over the years we have worked together, this has occasionally created a certain friction .. or a less than positive feeling for Al, that there’s something missing .. a searching for ‘something’, Searching to find his ‘passion’ ….. a comparison with me and my total, tunnel visioned certainty.
Consequently he has explored many different creative avenues, anxiously expecting … hoping for this lightening bolt moment where his lifelong passion would suddenly make itself known… which, of course.. it didn’t. Often causing him to feel frustrated and unhappy.
I recently listened to a really fascinating podcast. It was Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the best selling book ‘Eat Pray Love’ being interviewed by Oprah.
She tells a story about how, after her fame with Eat Pray Love she went on a promotional tour. Part of her aim was to encourage people to step out of their comfort zones or their boring jobs and follow their passion…. I won’t ruin the podcast for you, in case you’d like a listen, but the events that followed one particular show led her to realise that she was a ‘passion bully’ … assuming that, because she had, everyone must have a passion that they dreamed of following. When in actual fact, so many people are just passionate about life .. no one thing.. but lots of things!
Elizabeth refers to these wonderfully flexibly minded people as ‘hummingbirds’ .. flitting from one subject to another and back again … fascinated by it all but never being stuck to one single thing.
Al is a hummingbird.
Free to explore life’s ‘everything’… pick a subject, learn a bit, learn a LOT.. move on and find another. He has a core sense of what he’s about and he applies it to so much in this extraordinary world.
Elizabeth explains how, like a little passion eco system we need both types of people, and that maybe our unconscious glorification of a ‘passionate’ person can be detrimental to the hummingbirds who have a lust for life but are made to feel somehow lacking in direction.
When I look at Al and I and how we have achieved working together as a married couple for all this time … with its highs and lows … I can see that so much of our teamwork is born out of this mismatch of ‘passion’. I am super focused, driven.. obsessive ? Whereas Al is broad minded, open to new ideas…flexible.
I know exactly what I want to do, make, grow and he finds the way to to do it…. never satisfied with the way we’ve always worked but he’ll find a new way or the best way that works for us in that moment.
We often have a chuckle as we have noticed that I can be so rigid in my approach that often, when Al suggests something new .. I will dismiss it ….
Then, a few days, weeks… sometimes months later .. I will announce that I think it’s a great idea … almost as if I thought of it myself !! (luckily for me, Al’s interests also extend compassion and patience !!!)
It has taken us years to realise that not having a single passion, a single minded direction, is not just ‘ok’, like as if you’re somehow missing out, or its ‘sad’ that you’ve never found your ‘thing’….but that its a gift, an absolute undeniable joy!
If this is you….stop searching, stop imagining that you need to fit into some social media driven idea of what makes a successful human being, and enjoy everything.
And of course, if, like me, you are passionate in a more directional way….well, that’s great too.. and everything in-between.
Be more hummingbird … or not!
Just don’t be pressured to feel less than wonderful by the well meaning passion bullies of the world.
If this is resonating with you, or maybe it sounds like someone you love, here’s a link to the podcast.. enjoy!
Oprah ‘Super soul’ Elizabeth Gilbert: The Curiosity Driven Life
Apple Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/oprahs-super-soul/id1264843400?i=1000436236810
